mental masturbation, the art of self pleasure
London, June 2015
I am no Casanova. Despite my passport and my cheeky courtship techniques I wouldn’t define myself a connoisseur of sexual intercourses. Both my Swedish and Italian best mates have definitely more stamina and drive than me and are by far more in to the topic than I am.
Maybe it has to deal with the kind of upbringing that I have, the fact that I was raised in “my formative years” by two women or possibly because I savoured the taste of sex earlier on in life than others and explored the topic wider and with more appetite for quality than quantity.
Whatever the reason, this approach of mine has a clear impact on how I enjoy auto-erotism. I have never watched a porn production from start to finish, and along the variety of clips available for free online there is only two that I ever came back to for some personal fun.
The fact is that I find most porn to be lame. Really, really, really lame. Maybe it is the unrealistic setting or other people’s penises floating on my screen that put me off, but I can’t really immerse myself in the show, and for me that is a turnoff.
When was the last time you had two girls (or two boys for that matter) smilingly getting showered in semen in front of your cum face with cheesy music playing in the background? It never happened to me. I had experiences with more than a woman at the time, yes. But never as wild as the ones depicted by some eastern European girl directed by a horny 60/years old Californian dude.
Now there is nothing wrong in having some fun by your own. I highly encourage everybody to practice self-stimulation of his or her own genitals, several times a week if possible. Not only it will make you a better person with the rest of the world but also a better lover. It will take the carnal and unrealistic expectation of the act out of your private moments with your significant others and you’ll end up enjoying some quality time with that person above and beyond the physical pleasure of rubbing your intimate parts against each other.
Try to practice with your own imagination. Concentrate on the act of pleasuring yourself rather than being concentrated at a screen. Picture what truly arouses you in your own mind, close your eyes and let your mind go wild. You’ll find that the scenarios that you are able to create are much more realistic and satisfying than anything anybody will ever tell you. Yes, you have a dirty mind. And there is nobody who knows better how much of a pervert you are than yourself.
Masturbating watching porn is like masturbating when your best mate tells you a story of that time he did that very filthy thing with that girl. You know they are lying, you know the situation was probably comical but nonetheless you are basically there wanking yourself at the dinner table. That’s not cool. You are lame.
I take no prisoners at saying it. Porn will eventually detach you from reality and set unrealistic standards. Any partner will probably never be able to satisfy you. Unless that person is a porn-star and you are on the set with four producers three cameramen a sound guy and a wealth of pills in your body to keep it hard for six hours. Boys don’t even try; you can’t keep it up for that long.
Your brain, on the other hand, can and will create scenarios, which are closely related to your life, in settings in which you can immerse yourself eyes closed and hands grooving, no need to fast forward on your computer, come when you are ready. Learn how to pleasure yourself by yourself and you will really benefit from it. There is no shame in masturbating your mind.